I learn a lot about relationship lately, how it could affect people to be joyful or in opposite destruct people's mind, soul, or even their spirit. Relationship does have power for human! We can see in regular life the consequence from unhealthy relationship people have in their life: Most people couldn't easily forgive and keep others mistakes in their whole life >__< Their relationship poison them.
Okay, let's we talk about it deeper, I believe we were made for love just like fish was made for water. We get love from our relationship, so if we lack of love or being rejected by others, we could get depress, feeling insecure and having low self esteem, we even could get sick! We need love like we need life!
But, let's deal with it, to build relationship, somehow, is the hardest thing to do! (at least for me!) And... we're different each other, right? That's why we often feel like: I can't understand my partner, I don't understand my mom's mind, I hate the way he speak with me; how could they do that? etc. And it happens on me either, everyday!
We have to realize first that we're different each other, to get along within relationship.
I admit that understanding people is so hard to do. Each of them has their own personality, background, or maybe different culture where they raised. But it doesn't mean impossible to do. :)
I see many people prefer to be ignorant about it, because they're frustrating and maybe has failed many times to understand and being understood by people. Some people try and try, and then give up on their relationship because it's too hard for them to understand each other. I am either experience the same thing soo many times. Sometimes I even think to build a big wall and living in my own world, I was feeling like I didn't need someone else, because they don't understand me.
But I won't give up to find out and discover the beauty of relationship I have, because that's God wants us to do in our life!
God teaches us mostly through relationship, that's why we shouldn't give up on it. Fight for it and then you'll see how a great relationship could change your life wholly! You will be more lovable, be able to easily forgive, healthier, happier, etc.
I tell you the important thing: most relationship skill we have, we learn it from our family. Family is a place we learn about love for the first time. Our relationship we have in our family relate with our outside relationship.
We can see many broken family produce person who can't get along through a relationship; they become hard on relationship and they get any difficulty and trouble to deal with it.
No wonder It is very dangerous for teenagers to have a bad relationship within their family. They will grow with so much complication in relationship.
FYI: The researches found, people who came from a happy family, mostly get success than people who came from a broken relationship.
Now you can see that relationship we have could poisoning us or making our life full. I suggest you to find out how the condition of your relationships are. Whether they're bad or healthy, You have to fix them right now. Remember if there's somebody you have a bad relationship with, or somebody you haven't forgive yet, or maybe..you remember your own relationship with GOD? You decide to leave God or not trusting Him again and live your own life because you feel He is unfair or doing bad? :(
To love more and to forgive other who made mistake towards you, you have to fix the root first. And I'm telling you right now: it is your relationship with God. If you have not receive His love and mercy He offers to you, you couldn't love sincerely and forgive others.....
Starts from Him because God is love itself (1 John 7:8), God instructed us to love deeply each other and quickly forgive others because He's truly know how relationship could affect us. And the main reason why we have to love and forgive others is this: God has loved us first, even before we love Him. :) His love is the greatest! So for my first suggestion, you must build your relationship with GOD first :)
Here are my following's suggestion to build and increase your relationship:
1). Trying to understand others personally. Learn about personality's types and while you're doing so, you will understand deeper how we're indeed different each other, we carried our own character. And instead of being insulted by the difference of our character, we can help others to understand their-selves.
2). Remember that each person has their own special need. Maybe they have been through many bad experiences before that makes them bitter inside and got traumatic. Maybe they got easily anger because they want to defend their selves from pain and being hurt again. We have to know and understand it instead of easily judge and angry on them.
3). Find your close relationship, get one if you don't have it. I have my own I call Connect Group. This is a small group of 4 to 8 people who gather each other in a week, doing a fellowship with God. Among my Connect Group friends, I could tell everything and feeling free to share anything with them. :) We pray each other, doing a lot of games, and yeah we're having so much happy moments!
4). Touch more. Hug more. Kiss more. Do connection as much as possible with people you love.
5). Listen more. Do not over talking especially to a new friend.
Everyone wants to be understood, so if you spend a bit time to listen to them, they will assume you are approachable and understand them.
And this is what I do in my family to build a warm relationship:
- Speak each other more to my family member
- Eat together often
- Laugh a lot with them
- Pray together
- Serve more!
And trust me, any movement towards connection with others make us whole. :) I hope my sharing will help you to figure out the way to be into a great relationship. I pray for you all who are eagerly to fix any bad relationship and be healed by LOVE. :)
Good luck for u guys, and happy being transformed by LOVE. Hug and love from me to you :D
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